So we were surprised this week with the new that Baby #4 would be joining out Clan next June. Surprised? yes and no. Let me explain. After much thought and consideration, in August we decided that when life calmed down, and after our move we were going to start trying again for #4. So this last month was our first month trying. (sidenote: Sydney was on the first month, but not really because we were never using anything before I got preggo, Nico a surprise and Sophie took 7 months) So I was gearing up for the long haul. Months and months of stressing, trying, waiting, getting disappointed, and then doing it all over again until that '+' sign appeared. So to say we were totally, actively, trying this month would be a little much. About 2 weeks ago I began to be extremely tired, wanted to nap all the time, sleep in as long as possible, (admitting that a couple days, I sent the kids to school and went back to bed while Stinker Bell watched Dora) But i was chaulking it up to lack of gym time. Then last Friday I got heartburn, I ONLY get heartburn when I have been pregnant. The minute the baby is born, heartburn disappears. So there was my second clue. Then I woke up 2 days later about to throw up. The nausea kicked in and man, i wanted to die. I didn't get off the couch all day with the exception of pulling it together to attend a parent/teacher conference. All of this was going down before my period was even due. Nick thought I was crazy as usual when we are trying for a baby. (he just wants to hear: Honey, I'm pregnant) But even I was starting to feel crazy, I hadn't even been wanting it that bad, hadn't been obsessing over it so why were all theses things happening. My cycle is 28 days to the day, so the day after my expected period. I caved in took a test. And to my shock, that little '+' sign was there and bright. WHAT?!?!?!? Are you kidding?????
Well, I wasn't prepared for that. I was all geared up for a battle, and no battle was necessary. Relief washed over me. I told Nick, he was shocked. We waited to tell the kids until after dinner and I was surprised how excited they were. And Nico, (man that kids cracks me up) is not letting go of his exciting news. Yesterday at Disneyland he kept telling all the workers that we 5 instead of 4 because I was having a baby. And he wants to say all the prayers to bless the baby to come soon. Little does he know he's a long way off before #4 makes it's debut.
I am feeling ok the last couple days. Tired and beat, a little nauseous but ok. I have a bunch of emotions running through me.
1. I HATE being pregnant. Some women LOVE it. I am not one of those women. I am not nice, I'm uncomfortable the whole time. I get heartburn, gas, I burp all the time. My legs fall asleep. I pee 20 million times a day AND night. Energy is zapped. All in all do not like it.
2. I wasn't quite ready for another one. Although, 7 months from now I don't know if I'd be ready. I really wanted to be done having babies. 3 seemed like enough for me. But I knew 3 wasn't it for our family. I also didn't want the age gap between Sophie and the baby to get to huge. As it is, they will be 3 years and 10 months apart. So really, 4 years. I have managed to be diaper free now. I almost don't need a stroller when we go somewhere. All my children sleep through the night and sleep in, in the mornings. I'm not ready for sleepless nights, diapers bags, diapers, baby food, breast feeding. All of it. But I know this baby is part of our family and has been since we were all together in the pre-existence. I love #4 already.
3. I am excited. I DO love babies. So yes, I don't know how excited I am to do all this again, BUT I am anxious to meet and love this little one. To hold it close and whisper in it's ear how much I love him/her. To look in their new eyes and wonder what they know about our Father in Heaven. About His Plan of Happiness. The pure joy that fills me the minute I see their Heavenly Face. The first time I feel it flutter in my swollen belly. The moment I know they are mine forever. I DO LOVE that part.
4. How will #4 mesh with the other three. I know they will instantly fall in love with it. But what about the ages differences? What if Nico never gets his brother?
I'm sure as the months roll on I'll have more feelings to express. But I am happy, We are happy.
This is my journal during my pregnancy. I gonna post belly pics for the first time ever. I've never taken any before. Take about all the things that come to mind, bother me, excite me.
Next entry, the new changes I encountered when trying to schedule my first pre-natel appt. Kaiser through me for a loop and I'm not sure what to think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment